Love Thy Neighbor
“Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” I just heard this described as a calling to see everyone as part of a single entity, which is a profound thought. It requires a lot of practice and mindfulness. I would like to work toward this.
My take on the commandment is that in order to love your neighbor appropriately, you must first love yourself. This is a difficult one for many people, especially for moms. Seemingly every minute of every day is consumed with loving an extension of ourselves, these little crawly, weepy, chirpy, bitey, huggy things that change us into… our mothers. There’s no time for mindfulness, because our minds are full with the immediacy of the current need or going through the fatigued motions. We spend so much time loving this extension of ourselves that we lose our notion of self.
I recently asked a friend if I could hold her accountable for one thing each day, but I also realized that I need to hold myself accountable: for remembering that I am my own person, for doing some of my basics but also doing basic things for myself, for keeping that sense of self as an example to my family. My husband didn’t marry my son; he married ME.
So, dear friend, I ask you to hold me accountable for doing one thing each day for myself. Maybe it’s picking up a book for ten minutes during naptime. Maybe it’s sitting in the sunshine with a cup of tea. Maybe it’s taking time to put on some makeup so I feel a bit better about this new, bald look that eats away at me.
If I am to love my neighbor, I must first love myself. Sure, I’ll do this for my son, for my stepdaughter, for my husband, but mostly, I’ll do this for me — the only person on whom I can ever hope to effect change. I want my children to see something worth following.
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